Forever Good Dates!

I read a, rather, encouraging story today that I couldn’t help but share. You can read about it HERE, but it’s about acting like civil humans and doing what can protect innocents. God knows how the night would have ended if the off-duty cop hadn’t shown up to save this girl. Knowing that this girl could have been me only makes me more thankful to the man, who we may never know his name. His deed, however, will be forever known and respected.

Playing the Field

Playing the field is hard enough without stupid guys like that bad date in the picture. Knowing girls suffer terrible dates like that infuriates me. Every girl is someone’s daughter or sister. No one, not on my watch, has the right to treat her like anything less than a young woman. So, watch it! If you mistreat a woman in front of me, me and those in my company will take you down for it.

I know that online dating is hard. Trust me, I’ve been through it and I hated it. It did, however, find me my boo-berry. But, I handled things very differently than this poor girl did for very BIG reasons. Read along to see my list for:

RULES TO DATING

MEET IN PUBLIC  [1]

NEVER, EVER, meet in private on a first date. If the goal isn’t a hook up, drive separately to the date location and meet in public. Don’t put yourself at risk of being the hostage of bad company. This young woman might have thought it was romantic that he wanted to pick her up and take her there. That’s how it was done in the past because people were less of jerks back then. To ensure your safety, meet up and get to know the person so  you can leave whenever you like. DON’T put yourself in a bad situation. Chivalry isn’t dead, but there are too many jerks in the world to see it.

Chat a Week before Meeting  [2]

Most guys who just want to hook up want to meet right away. Most guys who just want sex, rush the “getting-to-know-you” process. It’s not fun, it’s freakin’ scary. So, chat a week with the person before you meet up. Make sure they check out. You can online search them, Facebook stalk them, or something of that nature, and should you find any discrepancies, call it off. Keeping them at a distance isn’t just a good tease, but it makes sure you have had enough time to process the information before moving on to meeting. If after a week, you’re not ready to meet, LET HIM GO. Seriously. There is no shame in feeling uncomfortable.

Don’t trade too many photos  [3]

During the beginning talking and dating phase, don’t send too many photos. Most guys tend to want to see sexy photos, nude photos, and the like. Don’t give in! Simply refuse. I had a friend who would send her dates photos of vegetables and fruit she liked. If the guy lost interest, so be it. If he found humor in the photos, he might be worth dating. It’s rare to find sweet and kind men today. DON’T send photos of your family and friends during the first few months. Don’t needlessly share with a stranger about your life! Most seem a rather scare-able breed. No worries, girls! When it’s time to meet someone, it’ll happen. Sometimes, waiting for the right one is the best way to keep your heart safe! Don’t go on bad dates just because you can. Wait for the good dates, because you deserve it! 

Ask MANY Questions  [4]

Something most guys hated about me was that, I ask a lot of questions. I don’t do this to annoy, but to check their answers. If they check out, I would agree to meet. If they lied and changed their answers every time I asked them a question, then I’d cut them loose. It’s not that I don’t want to trust them, but I have no reason to trust them yet. Prove yourself worthy of my trust and I can become a strong ally. Prove yourself a lying P.O.S., and I will crucify you. (Not literally, but you know what I mean.) Take your time and get to know the person. If he’s hiding something, keep asking questions. 

If you’re uncomfortable, LEAVE  [5]

Most people, both men and women, think that they have to stay until the end of the date before leaving. That they have to swallow their pride, comfort, and more for the sake of keeping up appearances. Whoever drilled that into your head, THEY ARE VERY WRONG!! If you’re uncomfortable, for any reason, and it’s not the food or ambience but your date; GET UP AND LEAVE. Find a Uber or Lyft to get home, call a friend for a ride, or take a taxi or the bus. Get out of there and go home. There is no shame in leaving early. People make mistakes all the time. What happens if you don’t leave will be worse than what happens if you do leave. Keep that in mind and make sure you’re safe before breaking down and de-stressing. (I suggest ice cream!)

I did a study, while I was looking for people online to date, and found that many people use these apps to find victims and targets. Scammers need weak women/men who are cut off from their family, or have been scammed before. Thieves want to know your location to figure out if it’s worth dating to see your place. Pedophiles want to know if there are kids nearby, if you have any, and more. The world of dating sucks because, if you don’t meet someone good, you’ll end up meeting someone bad. And, as scary as it is, that’s just life… right?

WRONG.

You do have a choice on how you handle things. When someone came along wanting to scam me, I shut them down, FAST. Having been scammed before, I had anger towards scammers. I learned to reverse search their photos using apps like Veracity and ReverseSearch. For online web searches, there’s TinEye. I checked their information with the company’s database. If the person didn’t exist, they were either Chinese or Nigerian scammers. The best thing to do was to block them, report them, and move on.

You deserve better. So, go get better!

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