When I first started watching videos on Youtube about young women KILLED by family because they were succumbing to the life they were being raised in, which was predominantly NOT in India or the Middle East… I was shocked and hurt by the injustice they have to face. My heart goes out to those who truly knew and loved these women, not their murderers and those who took part in this sad display of cultural tragedy.
What actually prompted this post was watching The Fifth Estate documentary about what started the Justice for Jassi movement.
I am VERY aware that I can get a lot of haters from posting this, but it’s okay with me. And, just to make it more clear for you all, I was born in America and raised as an American by traditional Chinese parents. They were forced to give up on us when they saw that we were Americans through and through.
Let me just say… for traditional and oppressed people from outside of democratic and free-world countries, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to raise children outside of where THEY grew up to become like them. This is the truth ESPECIALLY for women. (We all know boys are precious and spoiled, which is why they obey so easily.) There are too many influences from the television to music and friends at school to living the different lifestyles. To force them to be like the traditional people, they have to be raised in the traditional setting. NOT in Europe, most of Asia, the Americas, and Australia.
These kids will only grow up to be traditional if their parents put them in that traditional environment and lifestyle in their home countries. Demanding something of them that has TOO MANY outside influences is impossible and impractical. Trying to raise a fish out of water, the fish will die. Trying to raise a traditional Indian kid outside of India… will usually fail. For those of you who wonder why boys seem to be able to do it better, it’s because they’re usually awkward or shy, which is why they don’t make friends and find comfort in the traditions that give them power. (I know, it’s sad.)
And “honor killings” is the coward’s way out of growing up. Parents and family who do honor killings, from my point of view, are just too scared and afraid of admitting they were wrong. Not that they were wrong to have given birth to the children, but that the parents of that child raised that child outside of the environment that the parents were raised in. Which resulted in what they saw as a failure.
The truth is, once someone uproots their family and brings them to another country, THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THAT COUNTRY. They have to fuse their culture to that culture and raise their children tolerating their attachment to both countries. If you can’t do it, go back to your own countries.
Somehow, my parents raised my siblings and I to be traditional but allowed us to embrace the American culture to a certain extent. We grew up in both cultures and we, continue, to honor our parents but live as Asian Americans. My parents are happy, my siblings and I are happy, and we have not brought dishonor to our family in any way. This is what it means to immigrate and grow up.
If you can’t accept it… you should leave.
“Honor killing” or “shame killing” isn’t honorable at all. It’s called “murder“. And if you commit, plan, or take part in a murder… you will pay. The citizens will see to that.